LITTLE JOHHY

Little Johnny: Mom, do you know what I’m going to give you for your birthday?
Mom: No, dear, what?
Little Johnny: A nice teapot.
Mom: But I’ve got a nice teapot.
Little Johnny: No you haven’t. I’ve just dropped it.

LISTEN TO JOE

Joe was sitting at a bar. He was totally depressed. The bartender, serving him a drink, asked what was wrong.

“I’ll never understand women.” – said Joe.

“The other night on my birthday, my wife said as my gift, I could do with her what I wanted.”

“Wow! That’s quite some gift.” – said the bartender.

“So why are you so dejected?”

“Well I thought about it for a while” said Joe, “and decided to send her home to her mother, and now she won’t even speak to me!”

YOU DIDN'T USE WHAT I GOT YOU LAST YEAR...

A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, “I’ll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday.” Well, you can imagine her disappointment.

The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn’t get her anything.

She says, “Why didn’t you get me a birthday present!?” He replies, “You didn’t use what I got you last year!”

WEIRD QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

How many cigars do you smoke a day?”
“About ten.”
“What do they cost you?”
“Twenty cents a piece.”
“My, that’s two dollars a day. How long have you been smoking?”
“Thirty years.”
“Two dollars a day for thirty years is a lot of money.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Do you see that office building on the corner?”
“Yes.”
“If you had never smoked in your life you might own that fine building.”
“Do you smoke?”
“No, never did.”
“Do you own that building?”
“No.”

MOTHER

“Mother, can I have those apples on the sideboard?”
“Yes, dear!”
“Oh, I am so glad you said yes.”
“Why, are you so hungry?”
“No– but I’ve eaten them already.”

ITS MY COMPUTER

Customer: “I can’t seem to connect to the Internet.”
Tech Support: “Ah, right. What operating system are you running?”
Customer: “Netscape.”
Tech Support: “No, what version of Windows are you using?”
Customer: “Uhhh…Hewlett Packard?”
Tech Support: “No, Right click on ‘My Computer,’ and select properties on the menu.”
Customer: “Your computer? It’s my computer!”

TWO GREEKS

Two geeks are talking over lunch.

The first guy says, “You wouldn’t believe what happened this morning. A girl rode up to me on her bike, took off all her clothes, and said ‘Take whatever you want!’ … So I took the bike”

The second guy says, “Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

MADAM COMPUTERS DO NOT HAVE CURTAINS.....!

A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains.

She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen.”

The surprised salesman replies, “But, madam, computers do not have curtains.”

And the blonde said, “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!”

PASSWORD REJECTED

A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with.

Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter ‘penis.’

Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password. She then almost died laughing at the computer’s response:

PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH!

Give him A nickname

AFTER ENGLISH PAPER

After Writing English Exam |

Boy1 : How Was The Paper ?

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Boy2 : It Was Easy But Question 5

Confused Me :/

Boy2 : What Was It Saying ?

Boy1 : Question 5 Wanted The Past

Tense Of "Think".

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. I Thought & Thought

& Thought And End Up With Writing

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"Thunk"