Sunday, March 31, 2013
Two Math Students
Two math students, a boy and his girlfriend, are going to a fair. They are in
line to ride the ferris wheel when it shuts down.
The boy says: “It’s a sin for those people to keep us waiting like this!”
The girl replies: “No – it’s a cosin, silly!!!”
The boy says: “It’s a sin for those people to keep us waiting like this!”
The girl replies: “No – it’s a cosin, silly!!!”
TALKING FROG
A math student and a computer science student are jogging together in a park
when they hear a voice: “Please, help me!”
They stop and look. The voice belongs to a frog sitting in the grass.
“Please, help me!” the frog repeats. “I’m not really a frog: I’m an enchanted, beautiful princess. Kiss me, and the spell will be broken – and I will be yours forever…”
The CS student picks up the frog and examines it carefully from all sides – making not even an attempt to kiss it.
“You don’t have to marry me”, the frog continues frantically, “if you’re afraid of the commitment. I’ll do whatever you wish me to do if you just kiss me…”
The frog’s voice is silenced, when the CS student puts the animal into the right pocket of his pants.
“But why don’t you kiss her?!” the math student asks.
“You know”, the CS student replies, “I simply don’t have time for a girlfriend – but a frog that talks makes a really cool pet…”
They stop and look. The voice belongs to a frog sitting in the grass.
“Please, help me!” the frog repeats. “I’m not really a frog: I’m an enchanted, beautiful princess. Kiss me, and the spell will be broken – and I will be yours forever…”
The CS student picks up the frog and examines it carefully from all sides – making not even an attempt to kiss it.
“You don’t have to marry me”, the frog continues frantically, “if you’re afraid of the commitment. I’ll do whatever you wish me to do if you just kiss me…”
The frog’s voice is silenced, when the CS student puts the animal into the right pocket of his pants.
“But why don’t you kiss her?!” the math student asks.
“You know”, the CS student replies, “I simply don’t have time for a girlfriend – but a frog that talks makes a really cool pet…”
Saturday, March 30, 2013
An Idiot In the class
“If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up.” said the sarcastic teacher.
After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.”Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?” enquired the teacher with a sneer.
“Well, actually I don’t,” said the student, “but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.”
After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.”Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?” enquired the teacher with a sneer.
“Well, actually I don’t,” said the student, “but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.”
Way To School
The new family in the neighborhood overslept and their six-year-old daughter missed her school bus.
The father, though late for work himself, had to drive her. Since he did not know the way, he said that she would have to direct him to the school.
They rode several blocks before she told him to turn the first time, several more before she indicated another turn. This went on for 20 minutes – but when they finally reached the school, it proved to be only a short distance from their home.
The father, much annoyed, asked his daughter why she’d led him around in such a circle.
The child explained, “That’s the way the school bus goes, Daddy. It’s the only way I know.”
The father, though late for work himself, had to drive her. Since he did not know the way, he said that she would have to direct him to the school.
They rode several blocks before she told him to turn the first time, several more before she indicated another turn. This went on for 20 minutes – but when they finally reached the school, it proved to be only a short distance from their home.
The father, much annoyed, asked his daughter why she’d led him around in such a circle.
The child explained, “That’s the way the school bus goes, Daddy. It’s the only way I know.”
Son & Daddy
Son: I can’t go to school today.
Father: Why not?
Son: I don’t feel well
Father: Where don’t you feel well?
Son: In school!
Father: Why not?
Son: I don’t feel well
Father: Where don’t you feel well?
Son: In school!
DOCTOR! DOCTOR!
A woman runs into a doctor’s office and says “DOCTOR! DOCTOR! You have to help me! Everywhere I touch on my body it hurts!”
The doctor replied, “Show me.”
So the woman poked her ankle and screamed of pain. Then she poked her knee and yelled OW. She poked her forehead and screamed again.
She was about to continue when the doctor said, “That’s enough, let me think this over.” He thought for about a minute and said “I think I know what your problem is. You broke your finger.”
The doctor replied, “Show me.”
So the woman poked her ankle and screamed of pain. Then she poked her knee and yelled OW. She poked her forehead and screamed again.
She was about to continue when the doctor said, “That’s enough, let me think this over.” He thought for about a minute and said “I think I know what your problem is. You broke your finger.”
Really funny kid
A three-year old walks over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in a doctor’s surgery.
“Why is your stomach so big?” – he asks.
“I´m having a baby.” – she replies.
“Is the baby in your stomach?” – he asks, with his big eyes.
“Yes, it is.” – she says.
“Is it a good baby?” – he asks, with a puzzled look.
“Oh, yes. A really good baby.” – the lady replies.
Shocked and surprised, he asks: “Then why did you eat him?”
“Why is your stomach so big?” – he asks.
“I´m having a baby.” – she replies.
“Is the baby in your stomach?” – he asks, with his big eyes.
“Yes, it is.” – she says.
“Is it a good baby?” – he asks, with a puzzled look.
“Oh, yes. A really good baby.” – the lady replies.
Shocked and surprised, he asks: “Then why did you eat him?”
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Useless
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she's as useless as a screen door on a submarine.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Elimu ya TZ..
Elimu ya TZ..
Dogo la 4m3 akiongea na
mwenzake wakiwa tuition mapambano,
ghafla akawa anapita mwalimu wao..
Dogo: Toka lini mwalimu Zohan afundishe
masomo yote yeye mwenyewe, yani
history, hesabu, biology, chemistry na
kiswahili jamani.... Khaaa
Mwl. Zohan: Uliza utawala wenu toka lini
mwanafunzi mmoja akremu masomo yote,
wee computer?? Ntaacha kufundisha mpk
waongeze mishahara...
Dogo la 4m3 akiongea na
mwenzake wakiwa tuition mapambano,
ghafla akawa anapita mwalimu wao..
Dogo: Toka lini mwalimu Zohan afundishe
masomo yote yeye mwenyewe, yani
history, hesabu, biology, chemistry na
kiswahili jamani.... Khaaa
Mwl. Zohan: Uliza utawala wenu toka lini
mwanafunzi mmoja akremu masomo yote,
wee computer?? Ntaacha kufundisha mpk
waongeze mishahara...
CHEZEA MCHAGA WEWE,
CHEZEA MCHAGA WEWE,HAHAHA
Mangi alikufa alipofika mbinguni
akaulizwa na
MALAIKA: "Kushoto kwako ni peponi,
kulia ni Jehanam....ungependa uende
wapi?"
MANGI: "Nitabaki katikati ya Peponi
na Jehanam."
MALAIKA: "Kwanini?!"
MANGI: "Nikifungua duka hapo wote
wa Peponi na Jehanam watafika
kununua bidhaa..:SEMA WACHAGA
OYEEEE!
Mangi alikufa alipofika mbinguni
akaulizwa na
MALAIKA: "Kushoto kwako ni peponi,
kulia ni Jehanam....ungependa uende
wapi?"
MANGI: "Nitabaki katikati ya Peponi
na Jehanam."
MALAIKA: "Kwanini?!"
MANGI: "Nikifungua duka hapo wote
wa Peponi na Jehanam watafika
kununua bidhaa..:SEMA WACHAGA
OYEEEE!
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